yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
