i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
