Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize