somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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