One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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