# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
