bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think your dad took our porno
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
