I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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