the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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