3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
