Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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