that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
