my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
