I think I died a long time ago.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
