I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
