Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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