I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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