just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think your dad took our porno
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
