Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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