just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
