Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
