Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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