We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
