I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Operation Purity has been aborted
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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