big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
