on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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