I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
