Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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