All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
