dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
