Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Randomize
