Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What a dumb baby whore.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize