is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
