have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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