I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
