I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize