she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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