i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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