just come out here and I will go home with you...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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