i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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