I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
