Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
