Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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