But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
