I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
