The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
