So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
