Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
