Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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