Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
