i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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