i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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