Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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