I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
