You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
