would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
