So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
