Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
