my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
