i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you win again, gameday.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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