I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize